Here we are again going down another thought process of particular events as seen through the twisted and yet colorful lenses of my ever so crazy life. Upon first impression as to the meaning of the title of my blog site, a first time reader might assume that I pursue culinary greatness within the seafood arena; however almost instantly and upon further observation they learn that my blogs are really just random rants of nothingness and yet everything that pertains to the reality that is mine – as turbulent as it is venturesome at any particular moment in time. Tomorrow is another day, another blog, with another interpretation of life ready to be jotted in an heart-stamped depiction of a series of events. Truth is today’s life lesson wasn’t even very funny nor did it even deserve a small curvature of the mouth to form a somewhat passable smile. In fact it was quit the opposite.
To the little that know me well and to most that know me little, almost all will express complete compassion for those involved in my day-to-day dealings and will read this with an ironic twist of empathy for the current muse of my rant…. for they too have once felt your pain. Am I mad? Completely insane? Confused? (Don’t answer that lol) Trust me – I get it. My own brain gets tired and exhausted from interpreting the chaos that is Jennel, having to deal with those who choose to enter the realm of my perception and try to understand it. For this alone, I apologize and it is for this very reason I chose to blog, to express, to vent….. That I might find clarity amongst the ripples.
Now to the matter in question…. It’s funny how in life we experience lessons of the heart. It is here that you will begin to understand my meaning as to the usage of the word “funny”…… as life’s lesson’s can sometimes result in some form of leakage in the physical sense aka tears from being emotionally charged or a broken heart. Sometimes life lessons end in other forms of physical leakage but I like to leave those conditions for the people whose last names end in Ph.MD. – but please be assured in this case, I’m most certainly not referring to the meaning of funny, as in “so-funny-I-nearly-pee’d-myself-laughing.” Normally, life lessons have a tendency to leave imprints for future impact – stamped into the memory bank of the heart to be later recalled for future reference. But if your anything like myself, my heart usually needs a few stampings before I even realize that a lesson is at play and my waters become murky. But life lessons experience is the fire that refines and transforms inside out. I’m not going to list particulars about the individual whom has affected me to such a state that I am dedicating an entire blog as to the acknowledgement and self-awareness of the craziness that involves me as an individual and how their intertwining of mishaps within my world have taught me patience, true test of character or the simplest yet hardest lesson of humility and acknowledgement of that “Still Small Voice” knocking at the doors of the heart.
So for the sake of grace and friendship and the acknowledgement of my inability to communicate in simplicity and my prideful awkwardness of word manipulation and verbal diarrhea – I will say that I have heard the lesson ~ the still small voice is resonating. There is comfort in the power of a voice unheard and yet His voice permeates the depths of the soul. My heart is aware and I am soft. Be it anything but funny in the comical sense, only funny in the ironical sense – the message has been received and laid down so that it may uproot and foster in me growth, stamped on the walls my heart so that I may become humble. It’s funny how something so small can have big effects on the matters of the heart. I am thinking of you, for you have made smile and taught me humility. You have given me the gift of laughter in a funny world.
When life gets crazy, I learn to be still in the beauty of nature. For in it’s beauty there is a reminder that I am not alone. For in the beauty of nature, I will bloom.