Evolution of 3 Words Never Spoken

I wasn’t ready to share this before, time’s handiwork allowed for healing and beauty in being raw and real. I share because its story has been told many times over.

I and love miss am over and you.

Hypnotic in its stare, the computer screen sits before me flashing its cursor, anxious for movement;

waiting…

waiting…

waiting…

waiting.

My fingers hover over the home keys as the tug of war between my mind and my heart duke it out.

I have something to share with you.

Something so simple and so true and yet can be easily explained in just three words.

Three words still separate both physically and in meaning and yet anxiously waiting to be strung together.

Three words…… just three.

I and love miss am over and you.

Last night you whispered “tell me something, anything” and it almost slipped out.

It was a close call – too close.

The words were right on the tip of my heart but then almost instinctively,

an immediate jolt of panic pierced me causing me to swallow my words.

I exhaled with an overwhelming lie of relief both in breath and mental anguish.

Pridefully I congratulated myself on the efficiency of my reactive defines maneuver –

ultimately avoiding a catastrophe of epic proportions.

It’s a gift truly it is…… or is it?

Either way, deep breath in – deep breath out….. I’m safe.

………..But am I?

My heart sighs and it’s beat whispers truth and rings in my ear.

I’m exposed. I am soft.

Those words – I and love miss am over and you.

The three of them.  They are already strung together.

It’s started.

It’s simple and it’s fresh in its definition but it’s there.

I’m ready I’m just not sure you are.

In fact I know your not.

So I tuck them safely in the deep reassesses of my heart

a secret not ready to be told, and never will.

I love you – December 14, 2013

I miss you May 13, 2014

I’m over you October 15, 2014

~Jennel

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