Last weekend I spent time with my kids while on vacation when the Charlottesville tragedy happened.
Today I finally sat down and went through all the tagged media and news articles that I could find. Somewhere between the lines, is truth. There are people out there that know more about what’s happening than I do so I make sure to explore a number of sources and ask questions. Lots of questions. I never make assumptions and I never read an article for face value.
Many of my fellow Canadians refuse to participate or learn about American Politics and events, or even Canadian ones at that. Others try to keep on top of things because no matter how much we like it or not the USA is much like a big brother and a potential bully in the same breath. It’s good to have a relationship with both. We are as diverse as the American people are in terms of politics and all of the above.
A couple of years ago I dated this guy for about six months – I’ll call him George. George had just recently left the military after 17 years of service in the PPCLI. I had met George on Christianmingle.com in efforts of trying my best to look outside the walls of Grande Prairie and to find connection with someone who held the same values as myself. I wanted to find someone who had solid morals and values.
George’s profile picture was distant. He was standing leaning against a cliff wall with a waterfall in the background. He had a picture of his coonhounds featured along with a vague picture of him driving a military jeep. He lived just north of Edmonton as his ex was still enlisted and resided at the base along with their three kids. He was a good looking man, almost had this British style about him with kind blue eyes that smiled right at you. His right up was upfront and very vocal about his conservative views.
George was an interesting character and very intelligent.
When I met George, our conversations were never vague or surface issues. He cut to the chase every time. I quickly came to learn that George’s source of education and my source of eduction were VERY different. He could name every country, it’s leader, it’s history, and every threat or reason why not to visit that country, it main food, its economy and then some. He could tell you History about Canada that we as civilians don’t learn in our history books. For an educated woman I felt very in the dark. In someways I was very overwhelmed. Many times my face would go beat red almost in shame for what I felt was my responsibility to know as a Canadian
Where was my knowledge and understanding of the world and its history at even after multiple years of post secondary education?
My mind was frantically spinning in circles ……”jennel, come on!!!! Think!! Think!! Hmmmmmm I wonder who my mayor is?” 🤔
No word of a lie. Not joking. I can’t even look someone in the eye and admit that. It embarrasses me to this day, but I smile because it changed my world.
That was as far as my brain could go. I was a single mom struggling to get from day to day. My kids were little and my world was small. Literally.
George burst my little world bubble.
I learned a lot from George even the little idiosyncrasies of what it’s like to date a man who has a military trained mind.
Everything was analyzed. EVERYTHING. Where he would sit in a restaurant or what kind of restaurant he would eat at. I’d pick someplace to eat that was “good for you” and green like Chopped Leaf. He would go but not first without the comment of “ok even if it was a liberal establishment.” I would look around be wondering “what is this man talking about?!?! It’s salad?!?”
I soon realized awhile later no matter the comment most men see very little point in eating somewhere unless a cow died for the cause and it was garnished with potatoes – hold the green stuff…..At least most of the men Ive known.
There was many things George felt very strongly about. Whatever he did he did to the extreme. There was no half assing it. There were also many things he adamantly and most vehemently LOATHED but that’s another story for another time, maybe. You see, while it’s significant in my life and my learning curve and brought me to where I am today, the scenario is not my story to tell.
I can not do it out of respect. Simply put, we broke up because I said NO that is not OK. OR rather his words were “your bat shit crazy and that the best thing about you! It’s sexy as hell.” Basically I took no BS and I stood my ground.
I drew a line in the sand knowing he couldn’t commit. He knew it couldn’t and shouldn’t so it wasn’t. Life is gets complicated within that lifestyle. Choices have a way of being made for you. It was complicated. Too complicated.
Point is, one day maybe I’ll write about that because it does have a twisted element of humour to it but his mom is still my friend on Facebook and I’m pretty sure he reads my blogs. Actually I’m 99.9% sure he does. So I want him to know that I do appreciate the life lesson.
I learned that there’s ALWAYS more to the story than what’s being presented.
Those that understand this understand the conflict at its basic level of what’s going on in not just the USA but in the hearts of the world today.
The history cycle continues to turn its ugly wheel.
Turmoil and Political Angst. War. Devastation. People are humbled. Community and peace are established. Growth. Selfishness. Turmoil and political angst. War. Devastation……and so on it goes. Maybe there’s more official terms of reference but this is my paraphrase.
I see history repeating itself. I see turmoil and political angst. In some ways it’s frustrates me. It other ways it saddens me.
So here’s to the people who enter your life even if for a short time so that we might have eyes that see and ears to hear.
To conclude regarding George and online dating, since then I refuse to participate in an online dating service of any sort. Most of those people are concealing something but aren’t we all.
In exchange, I learned to have conversations learning about what I didn’t know. I sought out sources. These conversations led to other conversations and with each my understanding grew more and more.
All have been educational and heart lessons.
So now when I have conversations about things I don’t know, I just ask. I don’t assume. I try not to let fear dictate my listening because I’ve learned that fear is a lie to keep people small. Small worlds keep people quiet and disengaged. Be smart. Be educated. Question everything. I don’t ask to show my lack of knowledge but rather my willingness to learn. I think we need to have more conversations and read between the lines. But mostly, forget what we know and move on to what we don’t know.